As You Place Them on the Bus……

Posted on by ojlowe

From the thoughts of a Parent:  As I place my child on the bus to head to school, there are many thoughts that run through my mind.

  1. My child is growing up so fast, it seems like yesterday that he/she learned to walk.
  2. Even though he/she talks a lot, I hope the teacher sees what a wonderful, talented kid he/she is.
  3. I hope the teacher understands how close of friends he/she is with Timmy and allows them to sit next to each other.
  4. He/She really loves story time with me. He/She will sit and listen to me all night.
  5. I don’t understand why homework has to be so hard. I don’t understand how to do it, how is my child supposed to?
  6. I hope today is a great day, can’t wait to see him/her at the end of the day!

From the thoughts of a Teacher: As I place the students on the bus to head home, there are many thoughts that run through my mind.

  1. My students are growing up so fast, it seems like yesterday that they nervously first stepped into the classroom.
  2. Even though he/she is struggling, I hope his parents see how hard he/she is working.
  3. It is nice to see them developing new friendships, it makes them appreciate the ones they already have.
  4. They did a great job reading out loud today, I hope they are reading at home to someone.
  5. New concept today means they will struggle with today’s homework, I hope parents understand homework does not have to be 100% correct.
  6. I hope today was a great day, can’t wait to see them tomorrow morning!

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5 Wrong Statements Teachers Make

Posted on by ojlowe

For the purposes of this Blog: Johnny is the “A” student who doesn’t need to study, Sally is your average to below average student who struggles.

Help

1. The highest score on the test belongs to Johnny!

So what? The highest score does not relate to the best performance. As a matter of fact, the highest test score usually belongs to Johnny, who just happens to find the Elementary Curriculum easy, and puts forth little to no effort to prepare for the test. So you reinforce that Johnny needs to not worry about his study skills, and also disregard the efforts put in by Sally who only wishes one day to get the highest score and be recognized. Recognition and celebration of an individual performance in front of the class needs to be centered on the effort given.  Struggling Sally who earns a B, promotes a better message than Johnny’s mediocre A. Simply, you have celebrated and reinforced that Johnny and his lack of effort is great!

2. It’s your own fault, you obviously didn’t work hard enough at home!

The same can be said for you as a teacher. How exactly is Sally supposed to “work harder”? A low-grade does not always correlate with a lack of effort. What if Sally has been putting in hours of studying by flashcards as you told her? Could it be that using flashcards hinders Sally? Maybe Sally never removes cards she understands, thus studying all 50 cards over and over? Did you inform her on how to properly use flash cards? There are many options to studying and learning, but very few teachers will offer them to their students because they themselves are limited to what worked for them. The focus needs to be on what Sally is currently doing, and what options or changes are needed to help.  Students don’t wake up every day and hope they struggle again. There is no fault to struggling, so why plant a message in their heads that they themselves are not good enough?

3. If you had listened to me, and did things my way, you wouldn’t be struggling!

When all else fails, the teacher knows best, Right? It is so easy to tell Sally that the only way to succeed is to do it your way, but do you give the same message to Johnny when he obviously has no study skills? By telling Sally this, you are confirming that her thoughts, ideas, and work ethic are failures. Sadly, when you stop and think about it, all students look up to their teachers and hold them on a pedestal, yet you are telling Sally she will never be good enough using their own thoughts and ideas. In the right atmosphere, Sally will always try impress her teacher for inspiring and supporting her through her struggles. Inspire them to be a great individual, not a copy of you.

4. You need to study more! You didn’t study enough!

“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” -Albert Einstein. Studying more is simply not the answer for most, like Sally. Along with #2, 3, and 4, the biggest issue is that we pass the blame by using the word “YOU”. Yes, we all understand that it is up to the individual child, however, these are not adults. They are children in the process of learning. We talk about being a supporting partner throughout their education, but are quick to shovel all of the blame onto their shoulders with statements like these. Make sure your message to Sally starts with “YOU” in times of success, but make sure to start with “WE” can do better in times of failure.

5. It’s ok, you tried your best!

If you consistently set high standards for you students, it’s NEVER “ok” when a student does not do well. You are contradicting yourself to Sally who believes in your message of setting the bar high! Sally has been told every year that “It’s ok”, and “Things will get better” to no avail. Sally has invested herself in your message, and now you tell her what every other teacher and adult has said. She has raised her levels of expectations, and needs someone who will reinforce that a below average grade is “NOT OK”! She needs someone to invest in her, and help her become the best she can be. What can she do differently, what habits are not helping, or what improvements can be seen?- Are some of the questions Sally wants answers to, so save the meaningless pat on the back. ALWAYS praise the effort when it’s there, and let her know that “WE” will not give up!

Kids today are being raised into a society stressing that everyone is a winner, irrelevant of effort and ability. While I believe there is an age appropriate relation (5-6 years old), we are setting up our children for failure when we continually hold their hands. Every individual has a desire to succeed and out perform others. As we grow up, we look for individuals who can be our inspiration, our role models. People who stand out of the crowd that continually tells us how great we are. Those individuals who hold us to higher standards and make us believe we can reach the unreachable stars. We need teachers to be those individuals……Tell Sally that she CAN, show her different ways to improve, celebrate every victory, and be truthful but support her in every step backwards….Tell Johnny that his 95 should NOT be acceptable, talk with him about his lack of study habits, challenge him to see the future, and be truthful but support him with his weaknesses. It is never about what you as a teacher say, but rather what exactly the student hears! It is human nature to invest in someone who is invested in you. Make sure your message consistently rings true that effort and improvement, not grades, will earn your respect!

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5 Rules on Parent/Teacher Conferences

Posted on by ojlowe

Handshake

As the time approaches for spring conferences, I thought it would be helpful to offer some advice to parents as you head in.

Time is limited to have a meaningful conversation with your child’s teacher at Parent/ Teacher Conferences, so be sure to make the most of the time you have. Here are 5 simple rules to follow that can make the difference in helping your child in Elementary and Middle School:

1. Stop focusing on the Grades: Especially in Elementary School and even Middle School, parents tend to focus way too much on whether or not Johnny is getting straight A’s. Let me be clear, grades are important, however the need to debate turning some B’s into A’s is ludicrous. Harvard will not be checking Johnny’s 5th Grade report card to determine his acceptance or rejection. The question to ask is whether or not your child is giving a great effort towards their education. It is about preparing your child for their future education: A “hard-working” C is better than a “lazy” A!

2. Identify Strengths and Weaknesses: You will most likely be surprised as a parent to hear what the teacher sees as both strengths and weaknesses. Seeing your child in the different light of a classroom allows the teacher to be open-minded and not be prejudiced towards certain actions. Each child can truly start with a clean slate every year, so the teacher should be able to express individually what he or she sees in your child. Celebrate and be proud of the strengths your child demonstrates, but take more notice about their weaknesses. Each child is only as strong as their weakest link. The question to ask is simply what strengths and weaknesses does the teacher see in your child. No child has every suffered low self-esteem based upon their strengths.

3. Importance of Social vs. Academic: If you are focused on grades, you will never get to the most important factor for success in life. Your child’s ability to socialize with their classmates is just as, or, I would argue, more important than their academics to be successful in life. Collaborating with partners and groups is a fact of today and tomorrow’s workplace, and those skills are developed throughout the school day, in the classroom, at lunch, and at recess. The question to ask is what does the teacher see in your child’s ability to interact with others in the school, not just with classmates, but all students, staff, etc. Some of the greatest ideas have been lost because someone never voiced them.

4. Identifying Gifted/Remedial: You may feel as if your child needs to be placed into Gifted and Talented, or needs remedial help. Should you wish to discuss the options, or requirements for either, please make sure to have some documentation. For GnT, your opinion that your child is as smart as Billy who is in GnT, is not the requirement. If your child is not receiving straights A’s on average, then please be rational. As for remedial help, be passionate about the help your child needs, but come with organized thoughts not centered on grades. Behaviors that you see at home that can be compared to what is seen at school is extremely helpful. Also understand that there is a difference between a struggling student and one who needs remedial help. The question to ask, either way, is whether or not the teacher observes your child on the same level as you do, and what steps can be put into place to 1) help your child immediately, and 2) ensure your child receives proper support if identified in observation. In either case, GnT or Remedial, documentation to support your child will go a long way.

5. Place your Pride aside: While it is great to hear your child is doing well, there will be times that you will receive information you don’t agree with or don’t want to hear. Keep an open mind about what is being said and how the situation can be rectified. The last thing a teacher wants to do is create an irate parent by making up situations. It is not a knock on your parenting abilities, just simply communicating the situation they observe to obtain the best possible solution WITH you. Also, remember that for the teacher, it is NEVER about you and parenting, it is ALWAYS about what is best for the student. The question to ask is what can I do to help solve this issue. It is a sensitive discussion that every teacher dreads having to approach, and you reaching out an olive branch of joining forces will be welcomed.

As an added bonus, never be afraid to ask you the teacher for advice on helping your child. How to help a child with Homework is something most parents want to know. You can ask for a list of questions to ask to help with Reading Comprehension, options in developing study skills and note taking, or even help with the “new ways” of solving math problems. Just don’t ask if they have extra workbooks for you to have. They spend enough of their hard-earned money on the students, and I am letting you know that the local teacher supply stores are open to the public. You can purchase most teaching materials there and get help from the sales person who is usually a teacher or former teacher themselves, or simply ask during your conference where you can go and what is recommended for your child!

1 Simple Message for Success in the Classroom!

Posted on by ojlowe

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So there have been requests as to how a teacher can develop a classroom with high expectations and hold students accountable.  Below is one of my handouts that would be delivered on the first day of school, and each student would be asked to read out loud and sign with the promise to do the best they can to achieve. There would always be one available for students to reread at a moments notice.  I would also cover this pledge with parents on Back to School Nights as I explained my expectations for the students in my class.  I believe it sets a high standard from the start and it is something that my students and parents appreciated. I do believe that if your students give you their best effort, success will follow!

SUCCESS

         To be successful in life, I must be disciplined.  I must be willing to give my best effort without being asked.  I must develop an ability to drive and push myself, especially when things are tough.  I must not be afraid to make mistakes.  Everyone will make them.  Winners are those people who learn from their mistakes and continue to strive toward their goals.  I must do what it takes to be a winner.  I must be willing to look past what others do because I understand that only I can control what I do.  With this knowledge, winners will never blame others for their mistakes.  Winners will assume responsibility for their actions, suffer the consequences, and resume the track of success.

I am the one who is responsible for the positive and negative praise that I receive for my work.  It is my decisions that will determine my reputation, and my fate.  Successful people are not born they are made.  I must strive to become successful no matter what path I choose, because I understand that if I don’t strive to be successful, someone else will.  I cannot blame others for my lack of success; I can only blame myself for my lack of effort.

“Am I proud…” Is a perfect way to start knowing if I am on the right track.  If I am not proud of my effort or work, then how can I expect others to respect my work or me?  Anything that has my name on it will reflect the type of person I am, and the type of person I will be remembered as.  I must understand that success is never easy.  Success is hard work and I must be willing to give a great effort in order to receive the rewards of success.

 AM I PROUD OF MY EFFORT TODAY?

10 Thoughts a Teacher Hopes All Parents Know

Posted on by ojlowe

In my 15+ years of teaching 3rd, 4th, and 5th grade students, I tried to keep a very complicated system as simple as possible. We kept our standards high and did our best to reach them. I only asked one simple question to determine the success of my students and their efforts….”Are you PROUD?”

Whether I was talking with the smartest kid in class, or the one who struggled the most, this one question was all I could ask for from each and every student. There is a connection when you look a student in the eye and ask this one question that any standardized testing will never be able to capture. Let’s remember that every student is an individualized learning anomaly. As parents, it is hard to keep an open mind when your child is grouped with his or her peers and is struggling in comparison. However, just like learning to walk, each child is able to rise on their own 2 feet when their mind and body are ready to do so. The main objective for both parent and teacher is to be a great supportive net to help each and every child when they are ready, and be there to support them in good and bad times.

With that being said, I always wanted my students’ parents to know 10 things when their child was in my care:

1. Your child does not treat me as they do you. You are their parent and they will test you 100 times more.  Don’t get me wrong, they will also test me in the classroom (it is a part of growing up), however, I have the power of peers, the Principal, and you on my side. If you teach your children to be respectful, chances are they are being respectful!

2. In Elementary School, your child will tell lots of stories of what goes on at home! We only believe half of what they say, but the question is what half do we believe?? 🙂

3.  I am not perfect. I, too, will make mistakes. I am sorry. If there is a problem, please approach me with a mindset of what is best for your child, and don’t hold it against me. (Remember I know we are both not perfect- see #2!)

4. Your child’s education is not about you and any embarrassment you may have. I simply want what is best for your child to be successful. This may mean being honest with your child. There is nothing wrong with being honest about negative behaviors you are observing with your child as long as you reassure them you are there to support. Please work with me if I approach you. I am doing so to help your child, not to inconvenience you.

5. Most important- Stop focusing on getting Straight A’s!! This is propaganda being pushed by society. If your child gets a C, it does not mean they are failing, it means they were average. There is nothing wrong with having a goal of A’s, but getting some B’s and C’s in 4th grade will NOT stop your child from getting accepted into Harvard as you may have planned. I do not give out grades, your child earns them. Be PROUD of a “hard earned C”, because it is better than an “easy A”!

6. Elementary School is NOT as easy as you remember it. Sure adding and subtracting is easy for you now, but can you find the mean, mode and median? How about naming the parts of a plant cell? Indirect objects? Prepositional Phrases? How about labeling all 50 States and their Capitals? Trust me, your child is not struggling to frustrate you. Take a deep breathe, remain calm, and listen. (Remember that I have to do this with 25+ students everyday!) Frustration is a fine line- It is good cause it means they still CARE and desire to be better! However,  you have to be careful, because the next step is to quit. Make sure your child knows “You are not allowed to quit!” No matter how frustrated they are, let them know you care too and will help or get help for them!

7. The most important skills your child needs to learn in Elementary school are- Study Skills! From flash cards, to note taking, your child must learn to study for Secondary and Post Secondary years. Especially keep an eye on your child if they are a straight A student- as elementary school may be too easy, but eventually the subject matter will become increasingly difficult and they will be ill-prepared to study and ill-equipped to handle failure.

8. Don’t compare your child’s learning to any other child’s learning. For both success and struggle, asking your child to be like another child is just wrong. Keep it focused on what your child can accomplish. Forming better study habits or asking for help, are reachable tasks that can help a C student shoot for a C+ or B on the next test/report card. If you know your child has worked hard, be proud, show encouragement and your child will continue to put forth the effort and blossom!

9. Don’t compare me to any other teacher your child has had, or will have. We, like the students, are unique in our own ways and styles of teaching. What makes this great is that it mimics the real world where your child must adapt to others in leadership. From colleagues to the boss, your child must use the experience of school to help adapt into the workforce. Social Skills are important to learn during these years, so empower your child by allowing them to handle their issues. Your support is important, but your personal involvement should be the last option.

10. Lastly, but most importantly, I care for your child as if they are my own (In my mind, they are a part of my family and always will be). I have but 180 days to instill a passion to be a life long learner and empower them to chase their dreams. It is NEVER about straight A’s, but rather taking steps forward, no matter how small. Failure is NOT an option.  I will be there to help out even when they have moved on to higher grades if ever needed.  I am just a phone call or email away, for help, or simply to update me!

Just like every other profession out there, 10% are bad teachers. Unfortunately you will have to experience one or two educating your child. Use it as a learning experience in adapting to make the most of a bad situation (for you and your child), and never hold it against your next teacher! Do what you need to support your child and document everything!  Lastly, if your child is struggling and you feel there is something wrong, ask for your child to be tested. Document all of your worries and things you see, approach your teacher, and don’t stop until you see results. Lastly- remember to “Thank a Teacher” when you appreciate the work they are doing. At a time of teacher evaluations based on standardized tests, government mandates, and the norm of teacher bashing, a simple handshake or a note is priceless in uplifting the spirit of a teacher.

To all of the parents whose children are now considered “my kids” also, I thank you!  Thank you for your support. Thank you for your input. Thank you for your time. Thank you for your efforts. I did my best everyday to be a positive influence on the students.  I am proud to say that your children have had as much of a positive influence on me!

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