Dare to Dream? The Scariest Part of Being a Kid Today

Posted on by ojlowe

“What do you want to be when you grow up?” Such a simple question to be followed up with a conversation with a child that could last for hours if you wanted it to. My mother tells me that I wanted to be a garbage man (maybe because she used to always tease me that Grouch from Sesame Street was my true father), an astronaut, an inventor, and a race car driver, but most of all, I wanted to play for the Pittsburgh Steelers. Personally, I remember having the dreams to be many different things, and the encouragement to become all of them……That is until around 8th Grade.

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It is clear to me that from 8th grade on, the thoughts and dreams about my future was systematically redirected by the adults around me. My dream world that allowed me to believe I could achieve anything had slowly transformed into a reality that told me I could only accomplish what others would limit me to. However, I was born with, or developed, a stubborn personality as a young child. It may have been from moving around so much as an Air Force Brat, or just simply a trait passed on from my parents. Either way, I have been called obnoxious, thick-headed, opinionated, and many other names, but it is a trait that has allowed me to accomplish many goals that adults told me I would never do. Dreaming to play for the Pittsburgh Steelers allowed me to overcome my size and weight disadvantage to not only play in High School, but also to play and excel in two sports in College. When I look back, I was driven to succeed by these “Dream Killers”.

Being a kid today, I don’t know if I would have been as successful with adults telling me “You can’t”, more than “You can!”  It starts with teachers wanting to know “What do you want to be when you grow up?”, and replying “Well, that’s a great dream to have, but the chances are slim, so what job do you want to do?” Even the coaches talk negatively about anyone’s future in athletics, “There are thousands of kids out there who are bigger, faster, and stronger than you.” Today, the difference is that these talks happen much earlier when these kids have no option but to believe the adults! We have become a society of dream killers, or fantasy supporters, for kids as young as 6, 5, or even 4- and both are extremely dangerous to the future of our youth.

The dream killers have evolved into opportune predators on young dreams. These adults no longer wait to kill the dreams of children, but rather suffocate the dream before it has a chance to even breathe. They come in many forms, with many different messages to kill the dreams:  Anything less than straight A’s is not good enough; You have to go to college to be successful; You will be lucky to play in high school; You can’t raise a family doing that. The fantasy supporters can afflict even more damage with their message of support. These are the adults who will encourage and support a young mind blindly. There are no mixed messages here, just one of full support constantly: You are the best!; You are going to be the next _______; Nobody is even close to being as good as you. The danger either way is that we are limiting our children by focusing their minds into our reality. By doing so, we limit the thoughts of imagination and creativity to whatever our vision is, which denies each child the given right to explore and choose to live life as they see fit.

Why have we become so focused on the adult future of our children rather than living in the moment with them? Why do adults feel the need to plan a future for kids that are 10-20 years away? How many of you knew what your passion would be at age 6? 10? Heck, even at 18? The danger I see is that we will have a generation full of regret and second guessing, and this is a dangerous state of mind. Our country has been built on strong-minded individuals who believe that passion and determination teamed up with great working habits will equal success. When we look at our leaders and innovative thinkers, we do not have minds that regret or second guess their decisions of the past. They understand that decisions and choices are made with details available at that time with the resolve that it is what is best at that time. Hindsight is 20/20 but it does not mean that we should relive our decisions. A generation that regrets and second guesses their present, because surrounding adults limited them in the past, will limit the success and advancement of, not only, their lives but the lives of those around them.

We must be careful to make sure we balance our encouragement of our children with a dose of reality. However, we must never limit their imagination, creativity, and dreams. Children have the world at their fingers, and many different paths to choose from. No matter how our lives are in the present and no matter how our past helped to shape who we are today, our dedication needs to be focused on supporting our kids to explore on their individual journey. On the path of life, we should never be the leader making decision ahead of them or the advisor that guides them, but rather the supporter following behind them who can advise when needed. To raise fierce leaders and innovators, we must allow our children to dream, and make mistakes so they may learn that success is simply about getting up one more time than you fall!

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8th Grade Graduation- What the Future Holds

Posted on by ojlowe

OliviaGrad

Almost 14 years ago you changed my life

We have had our good times, we have had our bad times

But it has been time is filled with Pride

High School is next, and will be very influential

You will struggle, You will laugh, You will cry

Through it all, I will be here quietly supporting you

These years will transition you from the innocence of childhood

To the harsh reality in the Real World

While the world can be a cruel place

I hope you always see the true beauty that is in it

OliviaKid

You have always been a magnet, drawing the toddler to play freely

It is because of your pure heart, and this I wish of all to remain

No matter what the Real World throws your way,

Just look to the children to show you the joy in life

Just as I continue to look to you, my inspiration!

There is nothing more powerful than your SMILE!

Love you, Sweet Pea!

End of the Year Message: Parent to Teacher (Please Read till the End)

Posted on by ojlowe

To whom it concerns:

You were charged with educating my child for the last 180 days, and I have to let you know how I feel:

1. Never in my life did I ever think that my child should suffer through many nights of frustration pending from homework. I remember thinking, every time, this is just homework for fourth grade! Why is my child stressing more than the adults in his life? He is supposed to be learning; learning through engagement and intuition. He should be enjoying himself, collaborating with his friends, and exploring problems together to learn.

2. What ever happened to recess, free time, Gym, Music, and Art? To be honest, I know my child can be a “handful”, especially when he gets cooped up in a room all day. His body is growing and he is full of energy that needs to have time to expend itself. I have supported your consequences whenever my child has acted out in class, however, I do believe that some of the blame is due to the fact that he is expected to sit for hours to “learn” without expression.

3. When I say “learn”, I mean to better prepare for testing! As his teacher who sits with him everyday, learns his habits, and understands his strengths and weaknesses, why does he have to be put through such misery? We both know that he struggles with test taking. This is NOT an excuse, but rather a diagnosis. Yet, every week, there is a test. Every month, there is a benchmark test. Every year, there is the State Exam! Wouldn’t the time wasted on all of these tests be put to better use to teach and learn?

4. Speaking of teaching….Science happens to be his love, as you are well aware of. His curiosity and love of learning are a perfect match for the science field. He loved the projects that were sent home and spent hours upon hours working on them. However, Science was only covered for approximately one half of the year, as it was switched out for Social Studies lessons. Being that both Science and Social Studies are crucial to spark curiosity and understanding of learning, it seems foolish for these subjects to be covered only partially throughout the year.

5. Lastly, I believe my children go to school to learn. To learn how to comprehend while reading a book, but more importantly to develop their own opinions about the story based on what they read. To learn their basic math facts of adding, subtracting, multiplying, and dividing, but more importantly to develop the knowledge of when, how, and why they would use math in life. To learn about their town, State, National, and World History, but more importantly to understand why decisions were made, what the outcomes were, and how he can learn from them and utilize it in his life. To learn about the exploration of Science, its chemicals, and its formulas, but more importantly to understand that it has been through curiosity and asking why and how that man continues to advance and provide the ever improving quality of life we have.

With that being said, I want to let you know- AND LET ME BE CLEAR:

I understand that politics are driving education. I understand that testing is mandated by state and national politics. I understand that you are forced to implement standards on students who are not prepared for them. I understand that you did not take play time away from my child. I understand that the focus on the perceived, declining Reading and Mathematics results have forced less focus on Science and Social Studies. I understand that you have less and less input on how to teach our children. I understand that as teachers you have persevered through it all. I understand that Teachers are the backbone to my child’s education, and I definitely understand that “YOU are a POSITIVE INFLUENCE on your students!”

I sincerely say “Thank You!” and appreciate every ounce of effort you give my child! Thank you for staying late, or answering the phone at home to explain the work. Thank you for “finding” time for the students to play, experience art, hear the music, and have some fun. Thank you for teaching, not to the test, but rather by providing meaningful lessons for students to learn from. Thank you for knowing my child and challenging his curiosity with the extra science projects you gave him just for fun! and coming in early for the Science Club you formed. Thank you for passionately believing that every child is more than any data can show. Lastly,

Thank you for caring, Thank you for loving, Thank you for pushing, Thank you for demanding,

Thank you for being an inspiration to my child!

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As You Place Them on the Bus……

Posted on by ojlowe

From the thoughts of a Parent:  As I place my child on the bus to head to school, there are many thoughts that run through my mind.

  1. My child is growing up so fast, it seems like yesterday that he/she learned to walk.
  2. Even though he/she talks a lot, I hope the teacher sees what a wonderful, talented kid he/she is.
  3. I hope the teacher understands how close of friends he/she is with Timmy and allows them to sit next to each other.
  4. He/She really loves story time with me. He/She will sit and listen to me all night.
  5. I don’t understand why homework has to be so hard. I don’t understand how to do it, how is my child supposed to?
  6. I hope today is a great day, can’t wait to see him/her at the end of the day!

From the thoughts of a Teacher: As I place the students on the bus to head home, there are many thoughts that run through my mind.

  1. My students are growing up so fast, it seems like yesterday that they nervously first stepped into the classroom.
  2. Even though he/she is struggling, I hope his parents see how hard he/she is working.
  3. It is nice to see them developing new friendships, it makes them appreciate the ones they already have.
  4. They did a great job reading out loud today, I hope they are reading at home to someone.
  5. New concept today means they will struggle with today’s homework, I hope parents understand homework does not have to be 100% correct.
  6. I hope today was a great day, can’t wait to see them tomorrow morning!

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5 Wrong Statements Teachers Make

Posted on by ojlowe

For the purposes of this Blog: Johnny is the “A” student who doesn’t need to study, Sally is your average to below average student who struggles.

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1. The highest score on the test belongs to Johnny!

So what? The highest score does not relate to the best performance. As a matter of fact, the highest test score usually belongs to Johnny, who just happens to find the Elementary Curriculum easy, and puts forth little to no effort to prepare for the test. So you reinforce that Johnny needs to not worry about his study skills, and also disregard the efforts put in by Sally who only wishes one day to get the highest score and be recognized. Recognition and celebration of an individual performance in front of the class needs to be centered on the effort given.  Struggling Sally who earns a B, promotes a better message than Johnny’s mediocre A. Simply, you have celebrated and reinforced that Johnny and his lack of effort is great!

2. It’s your own fault, you obviously didn’t work hard enough at home!

The same can be said for you as a teacher. How exactly is Sally supposed to “work harder”? A low-grade does not always correlate with a lack of effort. What if Sally has been putting in hours of studying by flashcards as you told her? Could it be that using flashcards hinders Sally? Maybe Sally never removes cards she understands, thus studying all 50 cards over and over? Did you inform her on how to properly use flash cards? There are many options to studying and learning, but very few teachers will offer them to their students because they themselves are limited to what worked for them. The focus needs to be on what Sally is currently doing, and what options or changes are needed to help.  Students don’t wake up every day and hope they struggle again. There is no fault to struggling, so why plant a message in their heads that they themselves are not good enough?

3. If you had listened to me, and did things my way, you wouldn’t be struggling!

When all else fails, the teacher knows best, Right? It is so easy to tell Sally that the only way to succeed is to do it your way, but do you give the same message to Johnny when he obviously has no study skills? By telling Sally this, you are confirming that her thoughts, ideas, and work ethic are failures. Sadly, when you stop and think about it, all students look up to their teachers and hold them on a pedestal, yet you are telling Sally she will never be good enough using their own thoughts and ideas. In the right atmosphere, Sally will always try impress her teacher for inspiring and supporting her through her struggles. Inspire them to be a great individual, not a copy of you.

4. You need to study more! You didn’t study enough!

“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” -Albert Einstein. Studying more is simply not the answer for most, like Sally. Along with #2, 3, and 4, the biggest issue is that we pass the blame by using the word “YOU”. Yes, we all understand that it is up to the individual child, however, these are not adults. They are children in the process of learning. We talk about being a supporting partner throughout their education, but are quick to shovel all of the blame onto their shoulders with statements like these. Make sure your message to Sally starts with “YOU” in times of success, but make sure to start with “WE” can do better in times of failure.

5. It’s ok, you tried your best!

If you consistently set high standards for you students, it’s NEVER “ok” when a student does not do well. You are contradicting yourself to Sally who believes in your message of setting the bar high! Sally has been told every year that “It’s ok”, and “Things will get better” to no avail. Sally has invested herself in your message, and now you tell her what every other teacher and adult has said. She has raised her levels of expectations, and needs someone who will reinforce that a below average grade is “NOT OK”! She needs someone to invest in her, and help her become the best she can be. What can she do differently, what habits are not helping, or what improvements can be seen?- Are some of the questions Sally wants answers to, so save the meaningless pat on the back. ALWAYS praise the effort when it’s there, and let her know that “WE” will not give up!

Kids today are being raised into a society stressing that everyone is a winner, irrelevant of effort and ability. While I believe there is an age appropriate relation (5-6 years old), we are setting up our children for failure when we continually hold their hands. Every individual has a desire to succeed and out perform others. As we grow up, we look for individuals who can be our inspiration, our role models. People who stand out of the crowd that continually tells us how great we are. Those individuals who hold us to higher standards and make us believe we can reach the unreachable stars. We need teachers to be those individuals……Tell Sally that she CAN, show her different ways to improve, celebrate every victory, and be truthful but support her in every step backwards….Tell Johnny that his 95 should NOT be acceptable, talk with him about his lack of study habits, challenge him to see the future, and be truthful but support him with his weaknesses. It is never about what you as a teacher say, but rather what exactly the student hears! It is human nature to invest in someone who is invested in you. Make sure your message consistently rings true that effort and improvement, not grades, will earn your respect!

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